Zombeavers (2014)

Zombeavers (2014)

Country:  USA

Director:  Jordan Rubin

Main Stars:  Rachel Melvin, Courtney Palm, Lexi Atkins, Hutch Dano, Jake Weary, Peter Gilroy

Storyline:  A group of young teenagers go to the woods to stay and are attacked by zombie beavers.

Review (Spoils): Well nothing says Christmas like Zombeavers! Actually, they have nothing in common, so let’s begin. We have a group of horny young girls that travel to the woods to get away from men and the internet. They just happened to be followed by their horny boyfriends and they all join in the woods. While that happened we have a spill into the river in which pollutes the water and creates zombie beavers. Everyone, including the small dog must run for his or her lives!

Occasionally I like to unplug my serious thoughts and unwind with straight retardedness and this is a great example of it. We young hot and horny girls that show their breasts (one at least anyways, thank you Courtney Palm,), stupid males that think only with their penis, a small dog that is thrown to the wolves (or beavers in this case), lots of blood, lots of furry killer beavers that can jump, axes, knives, some whacky beaver people zombies, funny tree chomping and a weekend without any dope! This film has it all but the dope and a serious storyline.

Rating:  If you have an hour or so to kill, this film is a good start. The film was nice cross of Cabin Fever meets Black Sheep. (Not the Chris Farley one) We have some lovely women and some crazy puppets and make up. The beavers make the film by far, as their glowing eyes are the best.  In addition, I love the scene where it drags for far too long with Lexi Atkins on the island in the kitchen battle a beaver in a bikini. (Small exploitation). This film is not be taken serious and it was an okay ride.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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The Devil Doll (1936)

The Devil Doll (1936)

Country:  USA

Director:  Tod Browning

Main Stars:  Lionel Barrymore, Maureen O’Sullivan, Frank Lawton

Storyline:  A lunatic and a banker uses mini people to grant revenge against the ones that fraud him.

Review (Spoils): Paul Lavond (Lionel Barrymore) is a banker but he was framed for robbery and murder and placed into prison. He escapes in time and with the help of scientist friend who can create little people (reducing real people smaller) and plan revenge.

Therefore, the story begins with the tale of the banker being wrong by his associates and wants everyone to pay for that backstab (fair enough). He meets a maniac in prison named Marcel who can create creatures and reduce them to inches. After Marcel’s death, the banker uses his tools to over take his plan of revenge. He plays most of the movie as Madame Mandilip who owns a doll shop as a front to over up his revenge.

The majority of this film is Madame Mandilip (Lionel Barrymore posing as an old woman) and showing the miniature effects of people being on inches high which the movie Son of Frankenstein took from. The film is much like other Tod Browning films as he has always had a thing for people who were indifferent or have some type of disability (in this case the mute young woman).  Nothing shocking or scary with this film but it thick in plot and storyline.

 Rating:  Lionel Barrymore sticks out in the film, as he can be entertaining as he is playing multiple roles in this story. The miniature people are interesting but after a while, I found myself bored as the story line was too thick and there was not enough scares to keep me laughing or entertained.  I preferred The Unholy Three.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Curse of Chucky (2013)

Curse of Chucky (2013)

Country:  USA

Director:  Don Mancini

Main Stars:  Chantal Quesnelle, Fiona Dourif, Danielle Bisutti, Maitland McConnell, Summer H. Howell, Brad Dourif, Jennifer Tilly

Storyline:  The Chucky doll re-appears back into the family of the serial killer Charles Lee Ray.

Review (Spoils): A young woman named Nica (Fiona Dourif) has been in a wheelchair since birth and under the watchful eye of her paranoid mother (Chantal Quesnelle). The Chucky doll appears at the house and her mother id found dead. The family re-unites with Nica’s older sister Barb (Danielle Bisutti), her husband her daughter Alice (Summer H. Howell) and the nanny Jill (Maitland McConnell). As they, all stay at the house with the doll, one by one, they all start to die and the story unfolds with the Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif) connection.

Right after the Seed of Chucky crazy storyline the series tries to get back to its roots. The story starts on a tale of the charming Nica and her mother. They get the Chucky doll in the mail and think of it as a sick joke. Time passes and the doll comes to life and her mother is killed. Everything is played as suicide (with scissors?) any ways that is when the rest of the family comes home and as we have family, secrets and conflict Chucky starts to hack them up.  We have a beautiful cast of women Chantal Quesnelle, Fiona Dourif, Danielle Bisutti and Maitland McConnell. We have lesbian affairs, scissors, very nasty axes gausses, some bad CGI blood, lost of eyeballs flying and hanging, a hot pink bra and panty laptop chat (because that’s what people do in the real world), knives, peeling skin and very cool beheading. The gore is there if you wait for it.

Rating:  I am going to be honest this film at the very beginning I was worried about it. Not being a huge fan of the series this film actual surprised me and got me on board. It dropped some of the cheesy humor of the past films and dove right into a good horror tale. I love the story line that intertwines with the past of the serial killer Charles Lee Ray and his nutty lover Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly). This film actual made me a fan of the series now.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Repulsion (1965)

Repulsion (1965)

Country:  UK

Director: Roman Polanski

Main Stars: Catherine Deneuve, Ian Hendry, John Fraser, Yvonne Fumeaux

Storyline: A young woman is struggling with men in general and is left alone to battle her struggles

Review (Spoils): Carol (Catherine Deneuve) lives with her older sister in a small apartment. It all starts to go wrong when her sister Helen (Yvonne Fumeaux) starts to be serious with a man. She makes herself distracted when being hit on, has visions of being attacked and even blanks out on the mention of men. When Helen leaves for a week that is when Carol’s mind and possible vague past comes to terms. Is what is happening real to her or just in her mind?

This film can be slow but that is what builds the film up and the character Carol. The silence and strange music speaks volumes for the film and her mind. The film is not lacking on blood either as we have nasty headshots, slashes of a razorblade, visions of rape, cracked walls, puzzled looks and the strange attraction I have of Catherine Deneuve in this film.

Rating: When you take a film like Carnival of Soul and Dementia 13 and breed them together this is kind of, what you get? A classic and strange thriller/horror film that just stands out. Repulsion is one of those films that I keep coming back to and finding something new in it. The movie has many funny things and dialogue that happens that keeps you guessing if the mind is the game or her past. If you have not seen this film and are in the need of a classic mind thriller than look no farther.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933)

The Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933)

Country:  USA

Director: Michael Curtiz

Main Stars: Lionel Atwill, Fay Wray, Glenda Farrell

Storyline: Bodies are disappearing and it all points to a famous wax museum

Review (Spoils): Ivan Igor (Lionel Atwill) gets into a financial fight with his business collaborate Worth and he burns down the building along with Igor. Time passes and the museum re-opens under new ownership. At this time, period bodies start to disappear and the frisky Florence (Glenda Farrell) is snooping for the hot story for the newspaper on it.

This nice little who did it thriller, no blood, no gore but just creepiness. The movie is based mostly on plot and the creepiness of the wax sculptures themselves and the melting of them and possibility of bodies hidden underneath. For example the Joan of Arc one is a classic scene and really gothic.

Rating: The movie is actually fast paced and mostly sticks to the story of Florence racing around getting him big story with the help of the police. The movie moves around that mostly and has the scenery of the wax sculptures and strange characters as Igor grows in a love interest with his assistant’s girlfriend Fay Wray).  Seeing this film was done in 1933 and you can tell by the script as some of characters had hard talking and heavy shaking dialogue.

 

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Willard (1971)

Willard (1971)

Country:  USA

Director: Daniel Mann

Main Stars: Bruce Davison, Sondra Locke, Ernest Borgnine

Storyline: A young man makes friends with rats and uses them for revenge.

Review (Spoils): Willard (Bruce Davison) is a social misfit and is surrounded by his mother’s freaky friends since his father’s death. Even his father’s partner Al Martin (Ernest Borgnine) who everyone hates as the film makes it way through the plot is an asshole. As Willard befriends the cute Joan (Sondra Locke) from work and his mother passes away, he learns that everyone is a pain and cannot be trusted so he has the rats do his dirty work. The rats under the leadership of Ben and Socrates take on the world under the order of Willard we have an entertaining film.

This film screams 70s; we have sexual harassment at work, rats, jumping rats, rats on people’s back, minor blood, some bad editing and the very attractive Sondra Locke.

Rating: This film is much better than Ben by a long shot. Even though it has a made for TV, type feel I felt that the vibe was creepy enough with characters that it kept me entertained. Bruce Davison was great lead and when he snaps you can actual picture the madness in his acting and voice. In addition, we have Sondra Locke before her career took off, being innocent and playful and oh ya the rats were ok.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)

Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)

Country:  UK

Director: Peter Sasdy

Main Stars: Christopher Lee, Geoffrey Keen, Gwen Watford, Linda Hayden. Peter Sallis, Isla Blair

Storyline: A gentlemen’s club is talked into resurrecting Dracula in trade for the ultimate sin.

Review (Spoils): Three middle-aged men who live life to the fullest are talked into selling their soul and some money to resurrect the prince of darkness himself. During the ceremony, the men back out but the young man who talked them into continues and Dracula is raised from the undead. Dracula takes it upon himself to kill each one of the men off one and one and ruin their lives. During all this, one of men Hargood’s daughter is under a spell of Dracula and is taken under his wing causing torment to the village.

Christopher Lee is back as Dracula yet again and he is outstanding. This time he does have some dialogue but nothing huge. We have the cape, red eyes, bright red blood, some biting, some glowing crosses; some great devil worship alters and because it is a Hammer Film some flowing bosoms. The storyline is actually decent and different then the other tales and we have the lovely Linda Hayden and Isla Blair gracing the screen. The only issue with the film is ending as it ended quickly without a long-winded battle that Dracula deserves.

Rating: I personally enjoyed this film even though it did have some plot flaws. We have some enjoyable views of the women that are overtaken by the prince of darkness and I honestly think Christopher Lee was the greatest Dracula. Someday I would love to sit and watch them all in order to get the full effect of the Hammer Dracula films.

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