The Ritual (2017)

The Ritual (2017)

Country:  UK

Director: David Bruckner

Main Stars:  Rafe Spall, Arsher Ali, Robert-James Collier, Sam Troughton, Paul Reid

Storyline:  A group of men as friend’s hike in Europe as a promise to a friend who pasted away. What they come across is evil.

Review (Spoils): The film starts with a bunch of men trying to relive their youth and have fun. They all decide to go hiking in Sweden after doing a vote. That night two of the friends go into a store during a theft. One hides as the other is brutal killed. The surviving friend Luke (Rafe Spall) has to live with the guilt and the secret. So, they all decide to go on the trip and on the way through the rough journey they all start to see things they shouldn’t, and things start to become creepy. Also, their friendship and true feelings towards Luke comes to pass.

Picture the film The Cave with men and with a touch of The Witch. The film goes from a true brotherhood bond to split hairs and unearthly evil coming to light. The movie gives you some flashbacks, fire, an occult, a death roaming Ki-Ri of some sort, blood talon marks, naked men, a female torso of plants and dead vegetation, a nasty tree impaling, a nasty slash to the head and some weird trippy imaginary.

Rating:  This film started off pretty decent but about half way through it went off track and tried to hard. The bonding and double crossing of the friends was awesome, and I loved that part of the film but when it comes to uprooting the evil within the film got lost. This did not ruin the film, but it could have been so much more if it didn’t not try so hard to tell the tales of the cult. The ending is also lacking and it just kind of stops when it should have been more of Wow ended.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

Country: USA

Director: Victor Salva
Main Stars: Stan Shaw, Gabrielle Haugh, Brandon Smith, Meg Foster, Gina Phillips

Storyline: Storyline from the first film continues as they are trying to end the Creeper’s reign


Review (Spoils): So the Creeper is back and this time his van is setup to kill. The storyline continues after the first film and just before the second one (the one with the school bus). Sgt Davis Tubbs tries his hardest to taken down the creeper before he kills more. But unfortunate he does and his van is super powered with weapons.
This film is lacking to be honest. I was a fan of the first film as it had that classic 70s 80s horror feel. This one is just a battle scene without any sense. Its like a cross between Christine and Pumpkinhead and it just does not work. I personal did not want to watch a 1.5 hour film on a killer van but instead I wanted the flying licking demon fiend known as the creeper. Not sure what Victor Salva was trying to do with this film. Plus to take place right in-between the first two films they should of called this 1.5 as I had no idea until pretty much the damn end of the timeline. Sure the creeper is in the film but kill after kill I felt there was no uniqueness to it or something where I went right on!
The characters are annoying and boring as hell in this storyline. The creeper is cool looking but at the same time he reminds more now of the djinn from the Wishmaster films. The van is just too much in the film and we do not care. Sure we have some kills and blood and lots of shooting weapons from the magical van but it all just seemed like a bunch of shit mashed together.

Rating: Not a fan of this film part of me wish it would have ended after a hour. Just a bunch of kids roaming around acting like they are 12 and the deputy looking to end the creepers killing. Even with the return of Gina Phillips in the end was not enough for me to get excited. Its just too bad they lost focus of the series with this entry.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Lights Out (2016)

Lights Out (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  David F. Sandberg

Main Stars:  Teresa Palmer, Gabriel Bateman, Maria Bello, Alexander DiPersia, Alicia Vela-Bailey 

Storyline:  A family ghost known as Diana has come home to haunt the remaining family

Review (Spoils): Rebecca (Teresa Palmer) has been looking after her younger brother (Gabriel Bateman) as he has been lacking in sleep and the mother (Maria Bello) is off and on the deep end. As they try to dig deeper on what is bothering young Martin they learn that there is a connection to the mother Sophie and a long-lost entity known as Diana.

This film is basically a daughter who hates her mother and wants to prove that her mom is nuts along with a dark past of a ghost like demon known as Diana (Alicia Vela-Bailey) haunting the young boy. The film has some jumping scares, a deep scratchy voice ghost, some bites and claws marks, dark lights, no lights and a gun shot and lots of off the scene or too dark kills.

The movie has a lot of similarities to the film Session 9 to me. The story line starts feeling like a boogeyman type tale but than about half way through it starts to peel along to the root cause. The problem with this film is a couple items. No real blood or gore which could have been a nice little add and the second issue is spew of the history of Diana. Once again, a horror film spew too much info into the film within 15min of looking up a box in an attic.

Rating:  This film was not bad to be honest it had a decent story line and looking at Maria Bello and Teresa Palmer was not hard either. The focus villain of Diana was an interesting touch and I can see this becoming a new horror icon of this era. Sure, the film felt rushed but overall it’s a nice little creepy tale.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Rings (2017)

Rings (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  F. Javier Gutierrez

Main Stars:  Matilsa Anna Ingrid Lutz, Alex Roe, Johnny Galecki, Vincent D’Onofrio, Aimee Teegarden, Bonnie Morgan

Storyline:  A school study of the soul leads back to the tape and the history of Samara’s mother

Review (Spoils): The film opens with the storyline of Gabriel (big surprise on the name played by Johnny Galecki) talking students one by one to watch the tape so that he can the be shot of the discover of the soul. This leads the young Julia on a hunt for her missing boyfriend as he watched the tape. She confronts the teacher and a fellow student named Skye (Aimee Teegarden) and starts to learn that there is more to this than finding her boyfriend.

This film started off actually okay with the school storyline and the babe Aimee Teegarden but then it started to run off the rails as they hunt for the body of Evelyn, Samara’s mother. Once you get the point of priest so the movie runs into a sadness of boredom and no shit Sherlock! The idea was great at the beginning as it gave the series a bit of a Hellraiser type feel and then it just became another generic too much information on the history storyline. The marking on the hand also was a bit of stretch.

We have videotapes, electronic format now of the video, Samara, black wet hair, car wreck, some blood, screaming, a little okay scene of hair out of the mouth, Samara coming out of laptop and of course lots of flashy scenes of the video. Not much on the scares as a lot of it has been done before.

Rating:  Like stated above this film had a great idea and storyline and then it went lazy. It took the easy way out and started to tell a tale that nobody really gives a rat ass about. Whole series has been around Samara we do not need a huge storyline why her mother treated her like crap and killed her. Plus, you killed Aimee Teegarden near the beginning of the film. Eye candy gone and shitty change in storyline makes this film lacking.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Girl in the Photographs (2015)

The Girl in the Photographs (2015)

Country:  USA

Director:  Nick Simon

Main Stars:  Kal Pen, Claudia Lee, Kenny Wormald, Luke Baines, Toby Hemingway, Miranda Rae Mayo, Katharine Isabelle, Autumn Kendrick

Storyline:  A young woman in a small town is bothered by some Hollywood people and at the same time she is dragged and stalked by someone who loves to leave pictures of dead girls for her.

Review (Spoils): Colleen (Claudia Lee) and her bitchy attitude is stuck in a dead-end town with no where to go. She starts to find pictures of dead girls and brings it to the police. They knock it off as just someone messing around and being artistic.  At the same time photographer Peter Hemmings (Kal Pen) is coming to town to figure out how he can cash in on this fad. When is group of merry men/women showed up Colleen gets dragged into it. One by one people close to Collen start to disappear and the pictures keep growing.

This film brings some eeriness to the screen as the annoying Colleen starts to become stalked by people in some white masks. Sure, the film screams a bit of copycat of the film The Strangers but non- the less I was entertained.  As you can tell Claudia Lee annoyed the hell of me for this film and almost ruined it for me. But on the other hand, Kal Pen was very entertaining and so was his whole crew of models and celebs. A big part of me wanted to see Claudia Lee to meet her end and have someone like the hot babe Autumn Kendrick win!

The film brings on some blood and some nasty kills like stabs, slashes, choking, some white masks, lots of camera flashing, nice cage, some nakedness of Autumn Kendrick (right on!), sarcasm of Kal Pen and the bitchiness of Claudia Lee’s character.

Rating:  To be honest I did not mind this film and do not understand the bad reviews. Outside of Claudia Lee I liked this film. Its pace was well played and I really did enjoy the Peter Hemmings character as it made me laugh a few times once the character breaks the ice. Luke Baines played an villain that I did find enjoyable and creepy. Not an amazing horror film but still worth the time as  it was a bloody okay time.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Devil’s Dolls (2016)

The Devil’s Dolls (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Padraig Reynolds

Main Stars:  Christopher Wiehl, Kym Jackson, Tina Lifford, Samantha Smith, Yohance Myles, Kennedy Brice, Brea Grant, Naomi Kyle, Matty Ferraro

Storyline:  A bunch of straw dolls when worn cause people to go insane and be possessed.

Review (Spoils): Serial Killer Henry (Matty Ferraro) has been the main target for detective Matt (Christopher Wiehl). The day finally comes when they catch him and shoot him down. But just when Matt wants to celebrate and meet his daughter (Kennedy Brice) it is about to start all over again. His daughter grabs a box filled with little straw dolls that once was possessed by Henry. She takes the dolls and uses them for her own creations of necklaces to sell. All hell breaks loose and people start killing each other in possessive gruesome ways.

Yes, the storyline seems lame, but this film actual was an okay ride.  The opening scene is a classic when it comes to gore and blood. When Henry cuts loose and does the chase down with a massive long drill bit I gave myself the “holy shit this is going to rock”. This film is not lacking on blood and gore which is the reason why I kind of enjoyed this film. It was not done with cheesy computer graphics and gone old school. We have little dolls, some green skin demon faces, blank eyes, the nasty drill scene to the head, throat slits, a fire burning body, nasty knives and even garden shears (nice ode to The Burning) and a dog kill.

Okay now time for the downside of this film. Man, the acting was lacking from the main cast. The daughter was annoying and I really could not care about her well being. The mother was just as bad and I just wanted to see her die. The main character Matt was ok as I could relate in a way but the cast over all was hit and miss. The second downfall of the film was the whole voodoo queen storyline and scene. This should have been edited out and the movie would have done well on its own without all this detail of crap. If they would have taken all that crap out and left it as Henry’s creepy dolls are causing people to go nuts and create some gruesome deaths this would have been higher on my list.

Rating:  This film was not as bad as some of the reviews I have read. You have not seen enough crap horror films people. The blood and gore in this film alone was worth a good amount of pints. Sure, the acting was boring in parts but the opening scene and the scene where her friend gets hunted down by her husband was worth the viewing alone. Plus we have Brea Grant and Naomi Kyle!

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Anitbirth (2016)

Anitbirth (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Danny Perez

Main Stars:  Natasha Lyonne, Chloe Sevigny, Meg Tilly, Mark Webber, Maxwell McCabe-Lokos

Storyline:  A struggling drug addicted wakes up from a night of party with a strange illness.

Review (Spoils): Lou (Natasha Lyonne) is a struggling drug addict and hangs around mostly with street walkers and drug addicts.  After a wild of night of partying and not remembering she and her friends Sadie (Chloe Sevigny) try to find out why she has been feeling so strange. Is she pregnant or is there something more wrong happening? After possibly being pregnant, struggling with body changes, mind trips and of course indulging in drugs and booze Lou life starts to spin. Also, to add to the mix the wandering Lorna (Meg Tilly) who seems to know too much comes to her door and the truth starts to unfold.

This film is a bit of trip itself. Not sure if it was the drugs, the use of red and purple lighting, the rubber baby monster or the fuzzy fun zone apes but man this film was all over the place. The storyline jumps right in but it was slow run to get to the point. Some of the graphic were nice and gross like the belly, the classic foot scene and the picking of skin but there were long gapes of just conversation in between that it seemed longer than it should have been. Natasha Lyonne and Chloe Sevigny did a great job playing out their characters but I hard time getting into Meg Tilly’s. It just lacked info or backstory. There could have been more scares and gore , hell even more fuzzy apes would be fun!

Rating:  Overall the film was okay and entertaining. Chloe Sevigny is a joy to watch and Natasha Lyonne always plays a good junkie (Orange is the New Black). The ending felt a bit rushed as there was much going on in the final 20min and it was a bit cheesy, but overall the film was not bad. I was expecting a lot worse but they could of cut down on the dialogue and gave us more trippy apes.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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